#561. How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

Ten Percent Happier
February 20, 2023
#561. How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco
[CLEAN]
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Transcript

Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   

Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.

This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. 

In this episode we talk about:

  • Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
  • The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”
  • The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness 
  • Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
  • What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
  • How to reframe social rejection
  • The importance of generosity
  • How to handle conflict with your friends
  • The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
  • When to walk away from a relationship 
  • How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
  • How to deal with social anxiety
  • And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends

Where to find Dr. Marisa G. Franco online: 

Website: drmarisagfranco.com

Social Media:

Books Mentioned:

Other Resources Mentioned:

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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