#562. How to Get Over Rejection | Florence Williams

This is the last episode in our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family. 

Today we’re probing a mystery: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint do we take heartbreak and rejection so hard? It can send the body and mind into a vicious spiral. As one genomics researcher has said, “heartbreak is one of the hidden landmines of human existence.“ 

There are countless pieces of art dedicated to heartbreak. Songs, movies, poems, the list is pretty much endless. But what does science say? Why does this happen to us? How exactly does the body react to a bad break up, from a romantic partnership, or a friendship or even a job? And what can we do to get over it?

These are the questions the writer, Florence Williams decided to tackle after her own 25 year marriage fell apart. And the answers are fascinating.

Florence Williams is a science journalist and author, and a contributing editor at Outside Magazine. Her latest book is called, Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey. It is just out in paperback, and has been nominated for the PEN/Wilson Award for Literary Science Writing. 

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In this episode we talk about:

• The passage of time as a way to heal all wounds
• The role purpose plays in recovery 
• William’s three part heartbreak recovery toolkit (calming down, connecting to other people and finding purpose)
• The connection between openness and resilience
• How to become more open to a lack of closure
• The good and bad news about heartbreak
• And, rejecting some of the conventional approaches to heartbreak

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‍Where to find Florence Williams online: 

Website: www.florencewilliams.com

Social Media:

• Twitter: @flowill
• Facebook: Florence Williams 
• Instagram: @florence999
• YouTube: Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey - Florence Williams

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Book Mentioned:

• Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey

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Other Resources Mentioned:

• #516 Robin Roberts on the Skill of Optimism
• Dr. Steve Cole
• Helen Fisher
• Dr. Kristin Neff
• Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
• Florence Williams: The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative  
• #546. This Scientist Says One Emotion Might Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner
• Dr. Paula Williams

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Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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